Are you good in bed? 9 Tricks that Make Sex Phenomenal
Sex can be fun, amazing, sensational and orgasmic, or it can be boring, awkward, uninspired and down right awful. Nothing is worse than feeling like you have a connection, only to have it blow up because the sex was dreadful. But how do you know you are good? How do you know that you're not the one responsible for the terrible romp and that your partner truly is the one to blame? I’ve put together a list of 9 characteristics that make you really really good in bed. Just remember that if you realize that you may have neglected one of these traits, it’s never too late to learn. Happy Fucking!
1. Attentive Lover
An attentive lover is one who focuses on their partner. They don’t skimp on oral sex and they pay attention to what makes their partner breath heavier and deeper. They caress, kiss, hold, rub, massage and feel their partner. An attentive lover pays as close attention to those erogenous zones as those non-erogenous zones. When orgasm has been reached, an attentive lover will hold his/her partner even after the sex is over. An attentive lover pays close attention to all intimacy and not just physical intimacy.
Enthusiasm is key to good sex. Nobody wants to have sex with a person who barely moves or behaves as if they could care less. Movement, passion, excitement are all attributes of an enthusiastic lover and will definitely be a prominent success factor in bed.
3. Authentically vocal
When you are enjoying yourself in bed you naturally make moans and groans of deep pleasure. Being comfortable enough to be authentically vocal will not only turn your partner on but will add to the experience and enjoyment for both of you. People who are silent do not give the impression that they are enjoying themselves or that they even want their partner to continue. The noises we make during sex signal to our partner that we enjoy or don’t enjoy what they are doing, only adding to the communication and connection that you share.
4. Move it!
The way you move your body is a huge factor in determining if you are good or not in bed. If you lay still like a dead fish, chances are, it isn’t going to be as enjoyable for you or your partner compared to if you moved around. I enjoy moving with the rhythm of my partner. Grinding against each other in fluid movements with passion and consistency is a huge turn on and can help you reach climax much quicker. Making circular motions with your hips, grabbing your heels and thrusting your knees down to your sides, bouncing up and down when you are on top, are just a few techniques that will make your partner scream with ecstasy.
5. Know what you want
A person who knows what they want is a lot more attractive in general that someone who floats along in life. When you set clear expectations in the bedroom and aren’t afraid to ask for what you want, you are not only setting yourself up for success but also your partner. Most lovers enjoy pleasing their partner and when they are informed and communicated with, they can be successful. Knowing what you want and how you want it can be super sexy and fun, in turn, making you good in bed. Knowledge is power and knowing how to please yourself and how to educate your partner into pleasing you is key.
6. Desire to experiment
Keeping things exciting in the bedroom is always a positive when it comes to intimacy. Trying new positions and being open to exploring your sexuality is important for a healthy sex life. There are a few go to positions that I enjoy more than others but I’ve tried almost all the positions with my partner, more than once and am always willing to experiment and try anything that I’m comfortable with at least once. Of course, you should never do anything or feel forced to do anything that you are not comfortable. I had a boyfriend once who was hell bound on having a threesome and I was not interested in the least. He ended up cheating on me and we ended up breaking up, but I’d rather be in a healthy relationship where the things we experiment with are a mutual exploration of our sexuality as opposed to some sort of taboo fantasy.
Being open and honest is the one of the biggest reasons someone is good in bed. The bedroom should be a judgement free zone, where your sexual fantasies can be explored and your most primal urges satisfied. Every person’s body is different and it’s our differences that make us unique. I prefer a man who is healthy, happy and knows how to work his body and mine over someone who is covered in muscles and doped up on steroids. A hard body may be nice to look at but it isn’t the most cuddly, soft, gentle or loving when you are caressing each other in the sheets. Letting your inhibitions go and not worrying about your cellulite, or your right boob being bigger than your left, is essential to intimacy. Relaxing and being in the moment with your lover not only spells confidence but it’ll allow you to have a much better time.
Receiving is huge but giving is better. A person who gives without wanting anything in return will find themselves, in life, much more fulfilled than someone who only receives. Foreplay isn’t just oral sex as well. Caressing, touching, rubbing, grinding, kissing and feeling each other are all ways that stimulate both of you and can lead to better intimacy. A slow burn is way better than hot and stop.
9. Deep Connection
A deep connection that exists between two lovers will always lead to better sex. Being in love truly makes a difference in the bedroom. When we feel close to our partner we can find ourselves more able to relax, more willing to experiment, more excited, honest, communicative, non judgmental and attentive. When you have sex with someone you love you can truly let your inhibitions go and really be in the moment with your partner. When boning turns into making love, something truly beautiful happens and it’s something the two of you will always share.