Sex in Relationships! What is "Normal" and What's Not!

Women see things in a relationship entirely different than men do. While there are often plenty of reasons as to why a couple could be having issues, including sex or lack thereof, seems to be a big one. More times than not, it’s the man that is demanding more. When a couple does begin to have problems and the arguments get harsher and the two become more and more distant, it only makes the sexual concern that much more of a problem. No one wants to have sex when they are frustrated, angry or sad.

Sometimes, women don’t realize just how important sex in a relationship can be. Most of us live busy, hectic, fast paced lives and sex usually takes a backseat when there are family matters, work, stress, and fatigue all putting a damper on a good romp in the sheets. Women also need to feel loved and supported and the emotional side of things weighs more heavily than the physical imagery men are accustomed too. 

As therapist Aaron Anderson puts it, sex is just about the only thing that sets you apart from just being roommates (familyshare.com). It requires the both of you to be intimate with each other and to share things you don’t share with anyone else. It is for this reason that sex is extremely important in a healthy relationship. As far as how often, that is a whole other story. Factors like your sex drive, lifestyle, free time and things of that nature to be taken into account. The ideal situation would be so that you both are, for the most part, on the same page and have the same sex drive as one another.

When a couple is having problems and sex is being either withheld, or just never seems to be initiated, what then? How long is too long? After all, since sex is indeed vital to a healthy relationship, it would seem that without it, any other additional problems would just be focused upon that much more. It’s just like therapist Isadora Alma says; it all depends on the individuals themselves (psychology.com). Sex is such an individual and personal thing. So, when it comes to how long is too long, the answer lies with you. If your partner has not been open to sex in a week and you feel it’s driving you nuts, then a week in your case is too long. However, some couples go on for months with no sex but are just as happy as their wedding day.

It seems that age has a factor in all of this, too. As we age, we don’t have the urges as strong as we may have once had them when we were younger. As women go thru hormonal changes, that is one thing that can greatly affect their sexual urges. In other words, maybe your woman doesn’t feel turned on, because she needs hormonal therapy. Or, it could be that she’s just plain bored and you need to spice things up. At the end of the day, what matters the most is that the two people communicate with each other. After all, isn’t that what sex is: another form of a communication, albeit a very intimate one. Be open and honest with each other and your great conversation could lead to something more physical. As with almost everything in life, communication is key.