First, put aside the fairy tale bullshit story you bought into as a result of being force-fed Disney culture as you were growing up. Drop all the unrealistic preconceived notions of finding “your perfect match soulmate”. Now, open your heart to a new definition of a soulmate.
A soulmate is a person with whom you have a deep, long lasting love. It’s not the same for everyone. The parameters and expectations of that soulmate relationship are truly unique and personal to each individual.
What I want to address here today is how do you know if you have found your soul mate or a potential mate that will lead to soulmate status? Is there any sure-shot way to confirm if you have found true love? The truth is that, yes, there are many small, but confirmed clues to find out if this love has the potential to be long lasting. Here are some of the signs you can read to decide if you have truly found your soulmate.
1. You Just Know – this might sound obvious, but many soulmates always say when they found “the one,” they just knew. Intuition can be a very powerful tool and if properly developed it can help you avoid relationship mistakes, and it can also answer those burning questions of the heart.
2. You Meet at the Right Time – There are billions of people in this world and the fact that we meet anyone is quite unique and special. The fact that you might never have met each other is a good indicator that the timing was right. Timing is one of the most important factors in business and in relationships. We often meet people who are a reflection of us and the fact you crossed paths when you did, is pretty special.
3. You’re Best Friends – When you’re in an open, honest, loving, carefree, happy, supported, understanding relationship with each other and your conversations are natural and make you feel good, you might be in a relationship with your best friend. One of the things that make a soulmate is that they are your biggest confidant, your biggest advocate and your strongest support system.
4. You Feel Like You’ve Known Each Other Your Whole Lives– Sometimes we meet someone whom we’ve just met but we feel we’ve known for lifetimes. That intense kismet feeling has been associated with many people who claim they have met their soulmates and can be part of the reason we are drawn to love in the first place.
5. The Chemistry is Off the Charts – Having an amazing chemistry that can be felt and seen with each other, is often a good indicator that things will last. I’m not talking about the intense sexual attraction but more the way you make each other feel, the way you flow together, the magnanimous that you exude as a couple in public. These can all be good indications of something much more than a short-term frivolous relationship.
6. You Love Being Together – When being together is enjoyable, you want to spend a lot of time together with that person. You will find that parting from them for even a short time will be a sad moment for you and you long to be with them. I’m not talking about an unhealthy obsessed, co-dependent kind of longing but more of an endearing, you-love-each-other’s-company-so-much-you don’t-want-to-leave kind of longing.
7. You Always Want to Share the Moment – You will feel like including the other person for any important or unimportant moment. Communication is the key to success in relationships and when you feel that you can and want to share anything with your partner, and vice versa, that is a good sign that you are quite possibly in a long lasting soulmate relationship.
8. You Care for Each Other – You genuinely care about each other. You support each other for even the smallest obstacles life throws at you. I once got a job opportunity out of town. My partner encouraged me to take the job even though it would prevent us from seeing each other. Love is selfless. A partner who supports you, even if it inconveniences them, is a keeper and is definitely a soulmate-status potential candidate.
9. You Feel Free When You’re With Them – Nobody likes to be in trouble. If you find yourself constantly being put down, or condemned, or apologizing, it’s not a good sign for longevity. Relationships should make you feel good. A long lasting relationship should encourage you to be yourself, should incite confidence and fill you with love and support. A soulmate makes you feel light and jovial with lots of laughing, joking and sharing life’s moments.
10. Easily Forgive – Forgiveness is so important. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves forgiveness and second chances. For minor infractions forgiveness is a given. For larger more hurtful mistakes sometimes taking time away from each other can help facilitate forgiveness. Time away from each other is not a death sentence in relationships. Time can help clear the air and remind each other what is most important.
11. Lots of Things in Common – Common interests can be really fun in a relationship. Enjoying the same activities can create bonds and help your relationship pass the test of time. You can still have your own activities that the other doesn’t enjoy. Having things you enjoy doing together will encourage both of you to spend time together. It’s important to mutually enjoy the time you spend with each other.
12. Mutual Respect – Respect is something you earn and if you don’t respect your partner or they don’t respect you, your relationship is on a crash course. Soulmates respect, take the time to understand and give the other partner the benefit of the doubt. If you are trying to change the other person, not only do you not respect each other but you are fighting a losing battle. Trying to change someone will never work.
13. Same Vision of the Future – This is one of the most significant signs that you’ve found your soulmate. A shared vision of the future gives you purpose, direction, goals and hopes and dreams. If the two of you have no shared vision you are on a boat in the ocean without direction. Knowing where you are going, how you are getting there and the expectations you have of each other can ensure success.
14. You Fight For the Relationship – There will always be obstacles and bumps in the road. No matter what you face you stand up for each other, you believe in each other, and you support each other. Together, soulmates have each others backs. Friends will come and go, bosses will come and go, but a soulmate is your family and family is forever.
15. Support Each Others’ Dreams – You support each other’s dreams and ambitions no matter how ludicrous it seems. It’s a good sign if they are willing to listen and want your input. Most big dreams that become reality started out with a crazy idea and a supportive loving partner. If someone has passion, drive and a dream, as long as it doesn’t hurt or financially break a couple, support should be assumed. Life is short. When we have something we are passionate about, it really helps to have the backing of the person we trust and respect the most. Someone who encourages you to do what you love, loves you, too.
16. The Sex is Great – When you a have deep soulful connection with someone, the sex is often unlike anything else. I’ve had great sex with people that weren’t my soulmate. But in conjunction with these other signs, it’s a pretty good indicator that you’ve found your mate.
17. Secure Enough to Be Apart – Even when you aren’t together the deep connection between soulmates allows them to feel secure in their relationship. Absence makes the heart grow stronger and spending time apart can be a good thing. You will not make it to a soul mate level if you cannot trust them. Your relationship is built on a foundation of trust. Insecurity and worry can rot away at a budding relationship.
18. You Communicate Telepathically – Ok…maybe not telepathically but it can feel like it. You sometimes think the same things, can complete each other’s sentences and know what the other person is thinking. You’ve shared so much together that you know each other so well. You take the time to listen and communicate but it’s nice that you are on the same page. You can feel confident that if forced to make decisions without their input, you would make them proud.
19. There is No Room for Jealousy – You are secure in knowing that you can trust this person wholeheartedly. You know that you are the only one for them. Your definitions of monogamy are crystal clear. Have full confidence that not only is this person satisfied and happy but would never purposely do anything to hurt you.
20. You Complement Each Other – Where they are strong, you are weak. Where you are strong, they are weak. You guys make a great team because you compliment each others’ strengths and support each other. You aren’t in constant competition but instead recognize your differences and celebrate those differences with communication and support.
Whether you are 100% sure you’ve found your soulmate or if you are on the fence, relationships require a lot of work. Even the most cohesive and solid relationship needs lots of attention, communication and trust. We grow and we change and if we don’t grow and change together, we grow and change apart. Even if you’ve found your soulmate, a neglected relationship will lead to destruction. All the things that made you feel so bonded will be gone if you don’t work at it.
Give your relationship all the nurturing it deserves. As a result, it will lift you up and love you in ways you didn’t see possible.
Found your soulmate? How do you make it last? Check out our article about 10 simple secrets to making love last.
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