Serious relationships can be very rewarding, fun and intensely passionate. But what are the right signs to look for, in order to know, whether or not, the person you are dating is someone you can be in a serious, committed, vulnerable relationship with.
There are a lot of fish in the sea, after all. And nobody wants to waste their time dating someone for an extended period of time who has neither the lasting potential, nor the ability to turn into to something more serious. It’s definitely okay to be discerning when it comes to dating, but how do we know that we have snagged someone who is worthwhile? How do we know when our relationship is ready for the next level?
The truth is you need a sign to tell you. In fact, you need 10 signs.
YOU’VE TALKED ABOUT EVERYTHING, BUT THERE’S STILL MORE TO SAY.
You’ve gone through all the normal conversation starters. In the past, you’ve run out of things to say at this point. You resort to vague comments about the weather and downing the rest of the wine. It’s better to feel tipsy than awkward after all.
But with this person, you still have more to talk about. The conversation flows, no matter the medium. It’s natural.
YOU HAVE INSIDE JOKES.
You definitely make eachother laugh, but you’ve shared some moments together which will forever remain quite the laughing stock. Maybe you witnessed a man running down the street naked (on drugs pressumbly) getting tackled by a couple police officers. Or perhaps the waiter at a restaurant called your masculine, deep voiced, bearded man, Ma’am. Maybe you accidentally used salt instead instead of sugar in the brownies you made. Whatever the hilarious joke is about is regardless. The point is, you shared these mutually funny moments which can’t be recreated, nor even really explained to others. If you’re reminiscing after only knowing each other for a little while, you’re ready to step up your relationship.
YOU THINK ABOUT THEM WHEN YOU’RE WITH YOUR FRIENDS.
If you’re out with your friends, and you can’t stop thinking about the person you’re dating, you’re ready for the next level. Plain and simple.
Which reminds me of the next sign…
READY TO INTRODUCE THEM TO YOUR FRIENDS.
You’ve said to the person you’re dating, “Oh my God, you’d LOVE my best friend.” And you know you really mean it. You want this person to meet your friends because you know they’d get along handsomely.
YOU CAN DISAGREE WITHOUT FIGHTING.
Disagreements are inevitable. You are two different people, from two different backgrounds, with two different unique life experiences. Even if you have tons of things in common, having disagreements about things is a healthy sign of communication in a budding relationship. Taking the time to see things from each others perspectives and sharing your own perspective to an open minded partner will, not only, make you closer, but lets you into the psyche and history of your partner. A functional relationship doesn’t mean you always have to agree, but it’s in how you disagree that makes all the difference. When I first started dating my guy, we did not agree about politics. Instead of ignoring that difficult topic we talked through it in a loving, safe and understanding fashion. Even though we didn’t agree, we had enough mutual respect for each other to understand why each other felt the way we did. As a result, I was able to learn some things I didn’t know, and vice versa. Petty disagreements are important because they allow us to practice for the bigger and heavier disagreements in life. If you can discuss your differences without blowing up, then the relationship has a shot at going the distance.
YOU’RE PLANNING FUTURE ACTIVITIES FOR THE TWO OF YOU.
You are making plans together! I’m not talking about where to go to dinner later, but plans like road trips, or even discussing what the future would look like together. Anything that isn’t just typical date material, that is being planned for, is definitely a sign things are getting more serious. Thinking about the future means you’re ready for something more.
YOU TOLD THEM SOMETHING ONLY YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS KNOW.
Becoming an official couple begins with this phrase: “I don’t really tell this to many people, but…”
It doesn’t matter what follows. It could be something as serious as a deep dark secret, or something as frivolous as your recurring dream about living in a house made of cheese.
TIME TO INTRODUCE THEM TO YOUR PARENTS?
Thinking about bringing someone to the parental units can be very distressing, but if the idea of introducing them doesn’t seem all that scary then you are past the point of pretending you are just “special friends”. You’re already committed.
THEIR QUIRKS ARE CUTE.
The weird little quirky things they do are suddenly totally adorable. Maybe the way she steals the covers in her sleep, or the way he loves couponing and prefers going places he gets a bogo for. Quirks make this person real, and that’s why you’re falling hard.
YOU CAN BE TOTALLY YOURSELF AROUND THEM.
When we meet someone, we’re presenting a version of ourselves which may be authentic, but is a much more reserved version of our true selves. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, open and honest with someone, we are letting go of our fears of rejection and allowing authenticity to shine through.
If the person you’re dating fits most of these signs, what are you waiting for? Break up with single life and upgrade your relationship status to taken. It might seem scary, but the rewards far outweigh the risks.